After the film “Four weddings and a funeral”, a new one:”Three abortions and a marriage” !
I read the book “Rien de grave” Justine LEVY wrote after her husband, left her for his father’s girlfriend. In fact, it is the real story of the author. Justine Lévy, writer Bernard-Henry Lévy’s daughter, was Raphaël Enthoven’s wife, till he left her for the singer, ex top-model Carla Bruni Sarkozy who was before the girlfriend of Enthoven, Raphaël’s father ! Her book made me remember some strange couples I knew.
“I don’t feel divorced, I feel widow, widow of this man who didn’t want the child we had together. It wasn’t with me I wanted to have a child. He used to say “my little bear, you are my little bear” but he didn’t want this child, we had together this child and together we killed him, all we had together is dead… An empty envelope, I became an empty envelope…
I wanted what my husband wanted. “It’s a pretty little boy”, said the doctor, the bastard, on the scan. He knew we didn’t want to know. He knew it was necessary it should remain abstract, medical, a formality, like removing a verruca, a beauty spot, a cyst…
It was a pretty little boy, but we didn’t want him. We are too young we said together, in fact he said… I didn’t feel too young, I was 20 years old… My husband didn’t want a child. Not now. We have time, he said, he have time. Time for what ? The time to stop loving, the time to separate, the time to leave, the time to have this child with another woman, the time to give to the child his first name we chose for him. It was not this child my husband wanted. It was not with me he wanted to have the child. The doctor, the bastard, gave us the file with the first pictures od our child, our child who will never had other pictures, our child we were throwing in the garbage…”
The couple I knew was worse. Their “love” story wasn’t like the film “Four weddings and one funeral”, but rather “Three abortions and a wedding”… Five years together and three abortions. And after this massacre, they got married together.
I suppose that in the future they will have a child. If so, they can call him the Survivor. Why him, he could live ? Why the three others couldn’t live ?
The woman, quite paranoiac, is afraid to meet violent and abnormal people anywhere she goes. But she is not able to see the violence of their couple. “Abnormal” who’s ? She doesn’t see that she is a submissive woman, who doesn’t respect her body and her soul. Her sweet husband had decided three sad times. They rather should leave. They open together a common blog which have only one post. The name they chose for their sterile blog, was “HIM = SHE ”…
As the book goes on :
“Perhaps, it was necessary we left to become adults. Perhaps it was the only way to grow up before to get older, to not become one day some old pampered babies. Perhaps it was necessary to leave for knowing one day what love really means. Loving doesn’t mean being alike. Loving doesn’t mean behaving like twins, believing we are inseparable. Loving, it’s not being afraid to leave, or to stop loving. Loving is to accept to fall, alone, and getting up, alone, I din’t know what was loving.”
I remember this woman who was afraid to leave the father of her three dead children, because she should loose the five years she had been living with… Just a submissive accountant ! One, two, three dead babies … that’s what she should better count ! After got marriage, she asked : “Finally, what is the marriage ?”. Sure, after three abortions, it is a non-sense.
One day, she will wake up and think “How Stupid I have been !”
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